Transfiguration through Community: Love, Commitment, & Transformation

“God's saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance move us to cling to and rest in God's mercy and grace.”

- Timothy Keller

“We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself. That’s the truth spoken by the voice that says, “You are my Beloved.”…..We may be little, insignificant servants in the eyes of a world motivated by efficiency, control and success. But when we realize that God has chosen us from all eternity, sent us into the world as the blessed ones, handed us over to suffering, can't we, then, also trust that our little lives will multiply themselves and be able to fulfill the needs of countless people?”

- Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved

Over the past year, I’ve witnessed the depths of love through some of my closest friendships. Friends who have grieved alongside me while encouraging me through prayer and scripture- shaping the way I’ve fought my battle. Yet, I’ve also encountered some of the greatest challenges of my twenties within the realm of relationships and friendships.

In her novel, Suffering is Never for Nothing, Elizabeth Elliott dedicates a chapter to the idea of suffering as a means of transfiguration. She uses the term “Transfiguration” to emphasize the aspect of glory that may not always be associated with the word “transformation”. Likewise, I believe that our sense of community holds a similar weight. 

Community has an extraordinary power to transfigure individuals, collaborating with the Holy Spirit in our ongoing transformation into the likeness of Christ.

As I’ve navigated through life's darkest valleys over the past year, I’ve encountered profound love from those who call me a friend, daughter, sister, niece, and neighbor. Through these experiences, I've come to realize that this process of transfiguration hinges on two inseparable elements of love: commitment and sacrifice.

Beyond Care

Love, fundamentally, involves commitment. Love is not just a feeling; it’s a conscious decision that is made irrespective of another's actions or our own personal emotions. At a certain point in any relationship, we reach a juncture where we must actively decide whether to continue loving and investing in the other person. We’ve all encountered this in some way, where perhaps a friend relocates, making the relationship more challenging to maintain, or when a friend is going through a tough season, and we feel we’re giving more than we’re receiving. Or perhaps, you come to realize that a relationship no longer offers any personal benefit, and you question the value of continuing the connection. At which point, you consciously or subconsciously decide to remain committed in your pursuit of that person.

It’s disheartening how frequently, even among Christians, we mistake care for true love. Love demands commitment, often at the cost of personal sacrifice. I’m not negating the role of care in love; care can indeed involve sacrifice at times. However, I would argue that care is more frequently carried out by feeling whereas love can only be carried out by an active decision in commitment. 

I’m aware that the discussion on love can take myriad paths, and I recognize that there are situations where it’s appropriate to love someone as a brother or sister in Christ while determining that maintaining a close relationship is unwise. I’ve been in such situations myself. Love takes diverse forms and may require different levels of commitment and sacrifice. For instance, a spouse's sacrifice for their partner may differ from that for a friend at work. Nevertheless, the underlying principle is that, regardless of the relationship’s nature, we are all called to sacrifice and commit to each other’s well-being in Christ. Love is a commitment made in decision that leads to feeling. There’s no escaping this truth. If someone professes love but cannot commit, then it’s not genuine love.

Transfiguration

Genuine love is driven by the hope that our love for others will bring glory to God. Love entails doing everything within our capacity, regardless of the personal cost, to ensure that the other person experiences the greatest joy in life, which ultimately is the glory of God. Therefore, loving another entails sacrifice, as set by example through Jesus, to help people experience the glory of God, both now and in eternity.

These are the friends who've devoted daily prayers, engaged in marathon FaceTime sessions for numerous consecutive days, warmly welcomed me into their homes for shared meals, chatted with me during lengthy car rides, and journeyed for hours just to visit me. Their unwavering commitment goes beyond mere words; it's a tangible testament to my belovedness and has contributed to my transformation, enabling me to better partake in the ultimate joy — the Glory and love of God.

I recognize that my friends have sacrificed their time, emotional energy, and made a conscious decision to stand by me, even when all I could offer was my grief. They've made my sorrow their own and, in return, offered me joy. Why? Because they truly love me and desire to affirm that I am beloved.

It's essential to keep in mind that the cross does not shield us from suffering; it instead stands as the primary symbol of suffering. When suffering is met with love within a community, it has the potential to transfigure and mold us into the likeness of Christ.